You have just moved to Bordeaux. You found an Ă©choppe (well, a two-room flat above a kebab shop, but with a marble fireplace), you bought a bike, and you already know the names of three wine merchants. Welcome. Truly. But before you dive into Bordeaux life, there is one thing you need to know: the Bordelais are watching you. They will not say anything, or hardly. They are polite, a little reserved, raised among honey-coloured stone and things left unsaid. But certain phrases and certain habits make them wince. Here, unfiltered and with a great deal of affection, is what gets on the nerves of long-time Bordelais when newcomers arrive.
A little context: 2017, the year Paris moved closer
On 2 July 2017, the Sud Europe Atlantique high-speed line put Paris just over two hours from Bordeaux. For many Parisians, the city suddenly seemed the obvious choice: more sunshine, more space, wine on every corner and a TGV to go back and see friends. Arrivals picked up speed, property prices soared, and the city that used to mock itself as la belle endormie, the sleeping beauty, found itself ranked among the most desirable places to live in France.
There was some friction, occasionally not very glorious: anti-Parisian graffiti on a few walls, bar-counter grumbling about soaring rents. Rest assured, the vast majority of Bordelais are nowhere near that. They just grumble. And mostly, they grumble for the following reasons.
1. Saying "pain au chocolat"
Let's start with the most obvious, and the most serious. Here, it is called a chocolatine. This is not a debate, it is a border. You may say pain au chocolat in the privacy of your own kitchen, between consenting adults. But at the bakery, in front of witnesses, it is a confession. The baker will serve you anyway, with a smile that says it all.
2. Asking for a "sac"
Same battle: in Bordeaux, a carrier bag is a poche. "Vous voulez une poche ?" is nothing improper, it is the most ordinary question in the South-West. Learn gavé too (very, a lot: c'est gavé bien, it's really good), and you will be halfway to blending in.
3. Spelling "cannelé" with two n's
The canelé de Bordeaux is spelled with a single n. The Confrérie du Canelé de Bordeaux settled it in 1985, to set the local speciality apart from its imitations. And while we are at it: a canelé is not meant to be eaten lukewarm and soggy from the bottom of a paper bag at the station. A caramelised, almost crunchy crust, a soft centre scented with rum and vanilla. Anything else is a forgery.
4. Comparing everything to Paris
"It's crazy, in Paris this would cost twice as much." "We don't have that in Paris." "It's like the Marais, only smaller." The Bordelais hear these lines as poisoned compliments. Bordeaux is not a little Paris, nor Paris in the sun. It has its own codes, its own rhythm, and it did not wait for the TGV to exist. Here, the unit of measurement is not Paris. It is the Bassin.
5. Talking about "Arcachon beach"
Speaking of the Bassin. You do not go "to the seaside" or "to Arcachon" the way you might go to Brighton. You go to the Bassin, the Arcachon Bay. You go to the Cap (meaning Cap Ferret; nobody says the full name). You go to the ocean when you mean Lacanau or Le Porge, because the water there is in a completely different mood. And in summer, a true Bordelais knows that the road to the Cap at 11am on a Saturday is divine punishment. They leave at 8am, or they do not go at all.
6. Believing the sun always shines
This is the classic first-year mistake. Yes, Bordeaux gets more sunshine than Paris. But it also has an oceanic climate, it is humid, and it rains readily, sometimes for a whole week in November. The Bordelais do not complain about the rain: they know it well. What annoys them is the newcomer who acts surprised, in flip-flops, in a downpour on the Cours de l'Intendance. For grey days, we have put together our guide to Bordeaux in the rain.
7. Saying you live in "Bordeaux" when you live in MĂ©rignac
There is nothing wrong with living in Mérignac, Pessac, Talence or BÚgles. Quite the opposite, it is often quieter and more affordable. But for the Bordelais, Bordeaux stops at the ring of boulevards, and every town in the metropolis has its own character. Saying Caudéran is a district of Bordeaux: yes. Saying Le Haillan is too: no. And if you want to know which corner you have really landed in, our unfiltered ranking of the neighbourhoods should shed some light.
8. Discovering the right bank like uncharted territory
"Have you ever been to the other side? It's actually great!" Yes. The Bordelais know La Bastide, the Botanical Garden, Darwin, the Queyries. For a long time the right bank was snubbed, it is true, but it did not wait for your Instagram stories to exist. Older locals will tell you about the factories, the wine warehouses and the railway workers who lived there long before the rooftop bars.
9. Moaning about the tram (when it could have been worse)
Tram B packed at 8am, line A broken down on a Monday morning: everyone has been there. But long-time Bordelais remember the city before 2003, with no tram at all, its quays turned into car parks and its endless traffic jams. They have earned the right to moan: they knew what came before. You arrived after the battle, and what a battle it was. If you want to understand why Bordeaux has a tram and no metro, we tell you the story of the VAL metro that never saw the light of day.
10. Ordering a rosé on ice on a terrace facing the Grand Théùtre
Nobody will forbid you rosé. But in a city that lives for wine, ordering the cheapest white on the list with three ice cubes is a bit like arriving in Naples and asking for a pineapple pizza. Be bold: try white Bordeaux, clairet, Crémant de Bordeaux, and ask your local wine merchant for advice. They love it, and it is the best way to make a friend.
11. Swimming in the Miroir d'eau
Children running through it in summer are the joy of the whole city. An adult in swimwear doing lengths, or laying a towel across it, much less so. The Miroir d'eau, the water mirror, is two centimetres of water and a reflection of the Place de la Bourse. It is not the municipal pool. If you want a swim, the JudaĂŻque and Galin pools are waiting for you.
12. Arriving and wanting to change everything
This may be the heart of the matter. The Bordelais have nothing against newcomers. What they mind is people who arrive as if they owned the place: those who find the city goes to bed too early, the people too cold, everything closed on Sundays, and who would like to find here exactly what they left behind. Bordeaux has to be earned a little. It is discreet at first, then it never lets you go.
And to be honest...
Let's admit it: the born-and-bred Bordelais is a rare species. Many of those grumbling today came from Toulouse, Limoges, Paris or elsewhere themselves, twenty years ago. Newcomers have also brought restaurants, galleries, bars, ideas and an energy the city badly needed. Bordeaux has always been built by people from elsewhere: sailors, merchants, students. So say chocolatine, ask for a poche, head to the Bassin at 8 in the morning, and in two years it will be you sighing when a tourist orders a pain au chocolat. That day, you will be a Bordelais.
The newcomer's survival kit
Chocolatine, not pain au chocolat
A poche, not a sac (a carrier bag)
Gavé: very, a lot
Canelé: a single n
The Bassin, the Cap, the ocean: three destinations, three moods
For your first weekend: 50 things to do in Bordeaux at least once in your life